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Revisit – Confidence Isn’t Feeling Good. Confidence is Self-Trust.

Confidence

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Revisit - Confidence Isn't Feeling Good. Confidence is Self-Trust.

Confidence Isn't Feeling Good. Confidence is Self-Trust.

How Does Frustration Tolerance Lead To Lifelong Success?

<b><a class="btn btn-primary" style="text-decoration: none;" href="https://cms.goodinside.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Gi_Responding-to-22Im-so-fat22.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener" download="">Download Guide</a></b>
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<em><strong>In the moment:</strong></em>
Pause. Deep breaths. “I’m here sweetie.”

“I know that thought. That is one of the most painful thoughts in the world.”

“I see you as the most beautiful kid in the world AND I believe you that you don’t feel like that at all right now. Ugh sweetie, I’m right here with you in that.”

<em><strong>After you’ve formed a connection with your child:
</strong></em>“I’m so glad that I know you have these thoughts. It’s so important for me to know. We’re going to figure this out together. I love you.”

“Oh sweetie. I have so many big things I want to say to you right now. And... I have a feeling I should hold off with most of them because I can tell... this feels so real and so bad to you. I know. I’m here.”

“I wish I could give you all the ways I see you and all the beliefs I have about you... so you could see yourself in the way I see you. And I know it’s not that easy. I know. I know those thoughts feel very powerful and very painful.”

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<em><strong>When emotions have calmed a bit:</strong></em>

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“Do you know I’ve had that thought too? Lots of people do. I’m not saying that to take away from how painful it is... just to let you know that you’re not alone.”

“When do your (I’m fat / I’m ugly) thoughts come up the loudest? Learning more about how and when they come up is one of the most important things we can do. Our thoughts have less power when we’re curious about them.”

“I’ve also had that same thought. It feels so true when you have it. I know it does. It has for me too.”

“So many beautiful amazing unique humans... feel bad about their bodies. What IS that, right? It’s like we’re given this idea that there are certain bodies that are better or more beautiful... that idea is all around us, huh. And I think it’s impacted how you feel about your body... I know at times it’s impacted how I feel about my body too...”

“When you say ‘feel fat’... I know this may seem like a silly question, but what do you mean? Like what does it feel like to ‘feel fat’?”

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Guide to Responding to “I’m so fat” or “I’m ugly”

Scripts to Build Body Confidence

Scripts to Respond to “Does this look good on me?”

Scripts to Respond to “Do I look pretty?” or “Am I pretty?”

<ul>
 	<li>Trade "You look pretty!" for...
<ul>
 	<li> “How do you feel?”</li>
 	<li>Say nothing. Notice the urge, let it go and focus on the “inside
stuff”.</li>
</ul>
</li>
 	<li>Trade "What a cute outfit" for...
<ul>
 	<li>"How'd you think to put together that outfit?"</li>
 	<li>“How do you feel in those clothes?”</li>
 	<li>“You look like you’re really into this outfit, tell me more.”</li>
</ul>
</li>
 	<li>Trade "You're so smart" for...
<ul>
 	<li>"Tell me what you're reading."</li>
 	<li>"You really worked hard there."</li>
 	<li>"I can tell how hard your brain is working."</li>
 	<li>"You seem to really like to challenge yourself."</li>
 	<li>"I can see how hard you're focusing."</li>
</ul>
</li>
 	<li>Trade "You scored the most goals!" for...
<ul>
 	<li>"What part of the game will you most remember?"</li>
 	<li>"You worked so hard in practice this week and look how that paid off."</li>
 	<li>"You were so focused during the game. Wow."</li>
 	<li>"How do you feel about how you played?"</li>
 	<li>"I loved the way you handled scoring; you were really a great teammate."</li>
</ul>
</li>
 	<li>Trade "You got an A!" for...
<ul>
 	<li>"Tell me about that paper."</li>
 	<li>"I know how hard you studied for that."</li>
 	<li>"What part did you like the most?"</li>
 	<li>"You've been working really hard."</li>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<a class="btn btn-primary" style="text-decoration: none;" href="https://cms.goodinside.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Gi_Replacing_Outside_Compliments_for_Inside_Compliments.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener" download="">Download Guide</a>

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