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Your Teen's Phone Is Sabotaging Their Sleep. Here's What to Do

Late-night phone use makes it harder for teens to get the sleep they need. Here’s how to set screentime boundaries before bed without constant battles.

Dr. Sheryl Ziegler

Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, Clinical Psychologist

3 min read

a teen laying on her side in bed looking at a cell phone

Introduction

Sleep is the foundation of healthy teen development. One of the biggest threats to your teen’s sleep today? Screens. In fact, studies show nearly half of teens are on their phones between midnight and 4 a.m. Cue: exhausted mornings, grumpy moods, dropping grades, and mental health struggles.

This isn’t because teens are lazy or irresponsible. Devices are designed to keep us hooked! And while it’s difficult for adults to put down our phones, it’s even harder for teens - whose brains are still developing impulse control and self-regulation skills. 

That’s why keeping devices out of your teen’s bedroom at night - from phones to tablets to laptops - is our #1 recommended screen time boundary. Whether you’re getting ahead of a problem or already in the thick of screen struggles, here’s our five-step guide to setting nighttime phone boundaries.

1. Get on the same team

Here’s a mindset shift: Screentime struggles aren’t about you vs. your teen. It’s about you and your teen vs. technology. This puts you on the same team against the problem, instead of against each other.

Before talking to your teen, tell yourself: “I have a good kid having a hard time stepping away from a device that’s designed to keep them engaged. That makes sense.”

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2. Meet your teen where they are

Instead of approaching phone boundaries as a lecture, invite your teen into a conversation. Our kids are much more likely to cooperate when they’re asked to be part of the solution, rather than just being told what to do (especially at this stage). 

If nighttime phone use isn’t a big problem yet, say…

“I’ve been thinking a lot about sleep and phones lately. Honestly, it’s so hard for me to stop scrolling at night. Do you ever feel that way? I wonder… What do you think would make it easier to put our phones down? I have some ideas, I’d love to hear yours, too.”

If nighttime phone use is a current problem, say…

“Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been having a hard time waking up in the morning. I’ve been letting you keep your phone in the bedroom, and that makes going to sleep even harder. I struggle to put my phone away at night, too! I wonder… What do you think would make it easier to get enough sleep? I have ideas, I’d love to hear yours, too.”

3. State your boundary

You might be surprised by the ideas your teen comes up with! And if they don’t have ideas right now? That’s okay, too. You know your most important boundary: No phone in the bedroom at night.

Tell your teen clearly and firmly:

“From now on, I’m going to charge your phone outside of the bedroom at night. This isn’t a punishment and it’s not because I don’t trust you. I just know how hard it is to put devices away and my job is to protect you - right now, that means protecting your sleep.”

You might even set the same boundary for yourself:

“And listen, everyone in our family is following this rule, too. My phone won’t charge next to my bed either.”

P.S. This isn’t just about phones. It applies to any device your teen uses that might be a distraction at night.

4. Validate feelings (without changing your mind)

Is your teen going to respond, “Wow, thanks! You’re really looking out for me”? Absolutely not.

And that’s okay. They might be upset. They might be frustrated. They might be angry. You can validate their feelings and hold your boundaries.

You might say:

  • “I get that this is a big shift.
  • “You’re allowed to be upset/frustrated/angry/etc.”
  • “You don’t have to like this rule, and it’s still the rule. I love you enough to make decisions you don’t approve of.”
  • “I hear that you’re upset. And I’m still going to protect your sleep.”

5. Put it in writing

When it comes to screens - phones, laptops, tablets, gaming systems, and more - it helps to put your family rules in writing. Why? Because written expectations reduce ongoing negotiations and make it easier to stay on the same page.

To make it as easy as possible, we created an example “contract” you can download to use with your teen.

Download the contract.

Looking for more support?

Remember: This isn’t about perfection. It’s about working together to protect your teen’s growing brain and create healthier habits as a family. You can always agree to revisit the plan and adjust it as needed. 

We know parenting adolescents - especially in our digital age - can feel exhausting and confusing. Good Inside is here to guide you through the teen years: from puberty and sex to screens, school, and AI. As a Good Inside member, you’ll get exclusive access to:

  • A library of scripts, strategies, and workshops for you and your teen
  • GiGi, our trained Good Inside chatbot, for 24/7 answers to any parenting question
  • A private online community to connect with parents who get it
  • Monthly support groups and live events with Good Inside’s tween and teen expert  Dr. Sheryl
  • Plus so much more!

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