How to Be a Playful Parent When You Don't Feel Like Playing

If you just came over from the podcast episode with Austin Kleon - welcome. I promised I'd write these three ideas up so you could actually use tonight, and here they are. Steal them. Try them. Share them. And please, tell me how they go by dropping a comment on the episode.

Dr Becky Kennedy, Clinical Psychologist

3 min read

mother and daughter brushing teeth in mirror

Here's something I've learned about playfulness: it almost never just happens. Especially not at the end of a long day, when your kid is refusing to brush their teeth and you're running on fumes. Playfulness, the kind that actually shifts the mood in your house, usually needs a container. A little setup. A move you make on purpose.

Playful parenting isn't about being a naturally goofy person or having endless energy. It's about having a few moves in your back pocket - small, silly games you can pull out when your kid isn’t cooperating, refusing to brush their teeth, or you just need to break the tension in the room.

Here are three of the moves I talk about with Austin.

1. Brusha Brusha Broosh Broosh (for Toothbrushing Battles)

I made up this brushing-your-teeth game… out of desperation. I tell the full story in the episode, but here’s how you can do it. The setup is everything. When you do this for the first time, you don't walk over and say, "Let's brush your teeth." You walk over with a little glint in your eye and you say:

"Wait. Did I ever tell you about this game? Oh no, I shouldn't even tell you…” Then pause. Look embarrassed. Then add, “It's so ridiculous. It's so silly."

That alone - that little hook - is the container. Your kid is already curious. Now you slow-play it. Tell your kid, “Here’s how you play. I am going to brush your teeth while I say (and do this to a bit of a jingle / chant) brusha, brusha, broosh, broosh, brusha, brusha, broosh,… brusha, brusha, broosh, broosh, brusha, brusha, broosh. I’ll keep doing it but then…. At some point…. Something will …change.

I’ll switch it up a bit to brusha, brusha, brooooooooooosh and when I say that last and very long brooooooooosh, you have to run to spit in the sink, and I am going to run to the sink too, and whoever gets there first wins!”

Yup. That’s it. You’re welcome.

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2. "What's On My Butt?" (A Silly Game That Always Lands)

This one I cannot take credit for. This one is Austin's.

You lie face down on the floor, eyes closed, no peeking. Your kid finds random objects around the house — a sock, a stuffed animal, a banana, a LEGO, whatever — and places them, one at a time, on your butt. You have to guess what each one is.

It is simple. It is ridiculous. It is totally amazing. And it lasts way longer than you'd think.

3. When You're Too Tired to Play, Read This Book

Sometimes I want to be playful and I just… don't have it in me. The well is dry. If that's you tonight, this is my move: I pick up The Book With No Pictures by B.J. Novak.

I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say the book itself does the work. It hands you the container. You just have to read the words on the page, and the playfulness shows up.

I read it to my son recently after not picking it up for years — my kids are getting older and I haven't been reading aloud as much. We laughed so hard. At the end of the night, when we did our rose-thorn-bud (a little “day summary” routine we do at bedtime), my son said, "That was my rose for the day."

I walked out of his room and thought, that was mine too.

One Last Thing

If you tried one of these and felt awkward — that's not a character flaw. That's information. Most of us didn't grow up with parents who played with us. A lot of us grew up with the opposite: Stop it. Settle down. You're going to break something. I have important things to do.

So if your body kind of freezes when you try to get silly with your kid, it's saying: this is new. I may be the first adult in generations of my family to do this. No wonder it's awkward. And the good news - it's a muscle. It builds.

Inside the Good Inside Membership, there's a workshop called How to Play built for exactly this. Most people don't join for it - but we've learned it's a true fan favorite. Come find us. Let’s play around with parenting together.

Learn more about the Good Inside Membership.

Introduction
1. Brusha Brusha Broosh Broosh (for Toothbrushing Battles)
2. "What's On My Butt?" (A Silly Game That Always Lands)
3. When You're Too Tired to Play, Read This Book
One Last Thing

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